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Sunday, January 8, 2012
My first swim
Splash!!! One girl dived into the five feet pool. And after few seconds later, she came up from the water and breath, than she splashed into the water with loud noise than she swam smoothly like a fish. I tried to go in the same pool, but it looked so deep to me. I can't see the bottom of the pool, it looked dark as a cave that is so deep that nobody can't get out.I felt dizzy. So, I disided to go to the three feet swimming pool. It was fine to me. I was at Atlanta and I was seven, and the water was fine enough to stop me eatting ice, it was very cool, it calm down my skin which became red, eventhough I put on my sunscream. I got a kickboard which was from my uncle's house, and it helped me to swim along to five feet side, the deepest place in that pool. After I became good at kicking I rest for 10 minutes, and I learned to swim with out kick board. I thought that it would be fine when I first swam with out kikboard when I was at three feet side. Everything was going well because three feet was little lower than my hight. But, I thought that evrything would be same on the five feet side, the middle of the pool. Every time I kicked water was getting deeper and deeper, and when I was at the middle of the pool, it was too hard for me to go anymore. I was kind of scared than i got terrified, but I told my self to calm down, than I sticked to the side of the pool I grabed the ladder hardly, I was exhausted I tried to go up, but I thought that it is kind of giving up, if I go up. So, I sticked to the side and than swam slowly, but best as I can. I swam till the end. I was really proud of my self and I think it seems to be a small work, but it was a small goal to me, and I achieved my goal, and I believe that tring to achieve your little goal, could help you to achieve your big goal such as your dream.
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Rachel,
ReplyDeleteGood storytelling! You were able to paint a picture of that day when you were learning how to swim. As a reader, I was able to relate to your first swimming experience! What I might suggest is perfecting the art of noun and verb conjugation so your sentences are more fluent. Overall, the story flowed, although you could have provided more details in the end on how nervous you were about swimming in 5 feet of water.